but I'm a head-case if I don't keep moving,
and my head hurts if I don't sit still.
it's an itch that I'll never stop scratching,
it's a hole that I'll never quite fill.

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Virology should never be taught in 3 weeks.  Especially when, on top of the massive amounts of confusing reading and quizzes, you’re assigning small groups a virus family to do a 20-25 minute class presentation (aka teach the class) and design a webpage for (because you couldn’t just do one or the other, you had to do both), while also having 2 exams, one of which is on the day after the presentations.  I’m going to New York on Thursday after I take this final (which I will hopefully be able to study for this week, but this presentation and webpage is taking up a lot of time, even though we literally started working on this the day it was assigned) and my brother is finishing the last of his grad school if-you-don’t-pass-these-you-get-kicked-out exams and basically we’re going to spend the night drinking and sleeping and it will be the first night in weeks that I do something other than study.  I mean, this class was really cool and viruses are awesome and super weird, but it should not be offered during short term.  That is all the feedback I have.

Retroviruses: bad news bears, both in the fact that they’re extraordinarily complicated in basically every aspect so it’s taking forever to make sense of them, and also in their pathogenicity.  I mean, basically every virus we’ve talked about so far in this class have been BNBs, but retroviruses get the award for most extreme BNBs.

Seriously, there’s no reason to try and remember the date that grades are supposed to come out because the instant they do your Facebook newsfeed explodes.  And I’m not generally big into talking about actual grades and all but I’m just so happy so you guys can suck it (and it’s under a read more so):

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You know, I’m actually going to be really disappointed if Dexter ends next year with Dexter getting caught.  I mean, he totally deserves to get caught because he’s been a dumbass this entire season, but idk it just seems like a cop out to have everyone figure him out and have him arrested and shit as the series finale.  Also I don’t really want Dexter to end because then all I’ve got is Modern Family and :(

Let me just summarize how atrocious the next two weeks are:

  • Thursday: Cellular/Molecular Bio Lab Final
  • Friday: Anthro Final, Psych Final
  • Tuesday: 10 page Psych research (but not) paper due
  • Thursday: 5-7 page Anthro paper due and group project presentation (it’s a creative project that involves far too much work for me to care about… make a video are you kidding me I only have time for powerpoint-the-night-before projects), Cellular/Molecular Bio Exam and Final (I mean really?  An entire exam and a final in the same period… how did that sounds like a good idea?)
  • Friday: Religion Final

So I’ve got 8 classes, 6 exams/finals, a 10 page paper, a 5-7 page paper, and a final group project/presentation thing between now and the end of this semester.  Plus readings and a few little writing assignments for my actual classes this week.  And it’s cold outside.  I basically just want to cry.

I actually think this is the first time that I am legitimately starting and writing an entire essay the night before it’s due… like, as in it’s 12:30 right now and I haven’t even begun.  I think I might have done one at some point either freshmen or sophomore year, but honestly I’m usually good about starting things in advance and all.  But fuck this is a stupid essay for a stupid gen ed class and it’s basically Thanksgiving break and I had a long week of studying and papers and exams and I didn’t do anything this weekend but sleep so now essay!

And also, I can take a B on this paper and more than likely get an A in the class still, so I have no cares to give.

The amount of cheese sticks the grill just gave me is actually overwhelming.  I mean, when did they start giving more than 4?  My god I don’t know what to do with all these cheese sticks. Maybe they will write the religion paper that is due Tuesday that I have not started at all and take my BMB exam tomorrow and even write that dumb anthro paper due next week… those would definitely put the excess cheese sticks to good use.

Well I’m going to go back to BMB and cells because I’m complaining about having too many cheese sticks and I actually can’t figure out why I thought this was a problem so.

And Washington my god why did I ever leave the west coast.  My brother and I are potentially terrible people because pot legalization is way more exciting to us than Obama winning but who cares this is actually one of the greatest things.

Also, same-sex marriage legalized in Maryland and Maine herroo Maine I might have hated you and probably never want to go back but I am still proud

Obama dominated and Colorado legalized pot… tonight has been fantastic, excluding my atrocious amount of schoolwork.

A rant about how psychology is not a science and how I am so tired of listening to people claim it as such, which is under a read more because it’s an issue that pisses people off all the time but my god I am so sick of hearing it so

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It might just be the 3/4 a bottle of wine and 3+ shots of tequila I’ve consumed in the last 2 hours, but seriously Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close may not be perfect but it’s still one of my favorite movies - maybe because the book was so fucking wonderful and I just can’t - and I just want to cry okay I really just do.

And in an hour my dad will be home and then there will be weed to smoke and just fuck this night I had the shittiest week and tonight has made up for it and I’m just going to finish this bottle of wine and have some whiskey and smoke medical weed and watch another movie and just sleep every shitty thing that has happened this week away and it’s all going to be fine.

Sometimes I miss Bates because as long as DPS didn’t see you smoking they didn’t really care but fuck Centre is so stupid and if there was actually somewhere close to campus like the little mountain forest we used to go to at Bates, I would smoke so much but there’s not and the no tolerance policy crap is just too much to risk but shit sometimes I’d like to just get high after a really crappy day… especially this week okay I’m rambling this is stupid I am going to finish my pineapple pizza and my movie and wait for my dad and everything is going to be okay.

Things that currently make me want to cry:

  • Glycolysis
  • Gluconeogenesis
  • TCA Cycle
  • Oxidative Phosphorylation and all the shit that goes with it

Today commences my exploration into the world of adderall.  

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